It’s Been Eight Long Years…Finally

Somehow, I thought it was going to be harder. After eight years of obstacles constantly being put in my way, I just donated five vials of blood to be analyzed (and I have a pee cup to turn in for a urine analysis). This is epic for the mere fact that these tests are being done to establish my dosage of Testosterone. That’s right! After eight years of trying to find a doctor that specialized in transgender issues, I finally have one, and he and I are working together to get me on Testosterone.

It’s obvious he knows a lot about transsexual health and that he has a specialty in it. However, I did not think he’d get the tests rolling so quickly. My doctor is an older fellow, but very cheerful. I saw him from the lobby, wearing a Santa hat. I said to Ash, “I bet that’s a doctor and I bet he’s fun. I hope my new doctor is like him.” Sure enough he was him. He’s a modern kind of doctor. He carts around a laptop he uses to record answers to several different questions. When he was done with the Q&A session, he asked me if there were any issues I needed to discuss.

I said to him, “Well, in case you missed it, I’m transgender.”

He laughed and replied, “the only reason I did is because I did not see any medicine. Where’s your shots? Where’s your gel?”

I explained to him about my eight years of struggling to find doctors who would do the initial tests to get me on Testosterone. We talked about using the gel (androgel) or the shots (Testosterone injections). Initially, we were going to go with the gel, but due to cost issues, we’re starting with shots and plan to move to gel. He took my letter from my therapist recommending I get on Testosterone and started arranging for my tests, right then. He also informed me he’d be scheduling a home visit, so he could more thoroughly examine me out of my chair.

We also spoke about surgeries and he told me he “knows people” who can help to avoid the massive costs of having more of my surgeries.

For the first time, I feel a weight lifted from my chest. As a singer and as a person with a relatively high voice, the only thing that gives away the fact that I am transgender is my voice. On T, my voice will lower. I am nervous and excited, at the same time, at the prospect of having a lower range. I look forward to exploring the world of music and going on this journey with my voice teachers, Rick Church and Lee Merrill Hapner. Both have been very vocal about their own excitement at the prospect of witnessing my vocal transformation. They have been two of my biggest advocates, and I am so grateful to work with them!

Besides my voice change, I look forward to having stronger, thicker bones (the Testosterone may completely reverse my osteoporosis), growing some scruff (I plan to avoid the Tom Selleck 80s ‘stache and the full beard, though) and having my body reshape to appear more masculine. My doctor even said, with a twinkle in his eye, “I wonder what it will do to your muscles…Probably make them stronger.” This is because T helps to increase muscle mass. This is GREAT for a person with a muscle disease, as I have. Anything to help my muscles is a plus.

We also have a plan to utilize my increased metabolism; another bonus of Testosterone. Many trans guys allow the increased appetite they receive as a result of this, to get the best of them, but Ash and I have talked. It is a good thing I cannot get in the kitchen. She has to administer my meals. Under no circumstances will she be feeding me more than I already eat now. I need and want to lose what weight I can. If this metabolic increase can help, I am going to make sure this happens. I told my doctor, “I told Ashtyn, even if I cry…don’t feed me.” He found this quite amusing.

Of course, there are potential risks that we plan to address. The issue of heart disease over the long term, is a concern because my father had it. The best thing is that this doctor knows what he is doing, how to regulate my levels, and he actually wants to work with me. That is the most important thing. No matter where this new path is going to take me, the key is to remain happy and healthy along the way.

I will be documenting my journey from my first shot through my full physical transition on Testosterone and sharing it with all of you both through this website and through YouTube videos. I look forward to bringing you all along for the ride. Get strapped in because it’s going to be a wild one!